American Idol Season 6 Premiere – Night #2 – Part II

Here we are again in Seattle for Day 2 of auditions.

Auditioning first is Gollum from Lord of the Rings. His real name is Kenneth Briggs. He’s singing N’Sync. He’s got the choreography down, which is always a good thing when you’re performing for Paula Abdul. It’s just scary again. I don’t know any other words to describe these auditions than scary. Kenneth looks like the little lemur guy on Madagascar. He should have sang “We Like to Move It, Move It”.

Kenneth’s friend sounds like Momma from “Throw Momma From the Train”. These people that come in thinking they can win because they’re different and have personality are clueless. He sings “God Bless America” and did better than Lemur Boy, but still not a good singer, it’s just not enough. Jonathan said they’d make a ton of money if he made it on the show. Not sure how.

— Commercial Break —

First up after the break is another montage of really bad performances followed by lots of “No’s”. One of the performers is Taylor Hick’s long lost brother, not really, but I’m sure you didn’t believe me. He’s a hairdresser. Eric Chapman needs to just stick with styling other people’s hair. No’s across the board. This is the first time I’ve ever seen security rush up to the table to protect the judges, and Eric just wanted to pull out the gel and help Simon with his hair.

Anna Kearns starts off with Aretha Franklin and is tearing up the floor, and maybe parts of the ceiling since she’s standing at 6′7″ with high heels. They liked her performance but very loud. Randy and Paula started growling at Simon. Simon stops playing their game and she gets two votes and moves forward to Hollywood. When Anna left the room, Simon said, “You just put through a giraffe.”

— Commercial Break —

A 16-year old starts us off with “Because You Love Me” by Celine Dion. Jordin Sparks is doing a great job in my opinion. She’s got a lot of control for a young singer. The judges are letting her go on. Randy and Paula liked her, but Simon said it was just too sugary and sweet. Jordin’s dad, Felipe Sparks, played cornerback for the Giant’s on the NFL, opposite Jason Seahorn.

Wrapping up this segment of the 2nd hour with people that didn’t make it exiting singing Pussycat Dolls “Don’t You Wish Your Boyfriend Was Hot Like Me”.

— Commercial Break —

Our last contestant is a mix between a Yeti, Carrot Top and Ron Howard. Steven Thoen’s not a real big fan of the show. He’s only seen the show a couple of times. He feels he’s as good as the leader singer of Queen and is singing “Bohemian Rhapsody”. It’s another scary performance. Actually everything about Steven scares me. Paula and Randy can’t control their laughter. Simon says it could possibly be the weirdest audition he’s ever seen. He believes he could be the winner if Simon coached him vocally. Simon said he couldn’t do it, it would be like him trying to coach a one-legged man to win the 100M.

Catch us next week in Memphis, TN for 16,000 that showed up for auditions.